So as we go through our dance bag and we look for our shoes, tights, accessories, positive thinking, and remembering what your teachers have shared with you, we find our Mom. It could be your dad or grandparent, but we are focusing on Mom.
Mom is the most crucial role in the dance world. This is likely why there are reality shows surrounding the role of moms in the dance world. Those shows are depicting Moms as tyrants and completely unrealistic. They fight with the owners and teachers and other Moms, they either coddle their kids or they are unbelievably rude to them. Their support to their child is not the right kind of support your dancer child needs.
Your child is waiting to go on stage and is running the dance through her mind and is obviously nervous and he or she hears in their head, okay work hard, don't make a mistake or else you are off the team, you have to make sure you look up and don't worry about those other dancers they are horrible, you are way better, you are a star and even though your teacher doesn't see your talents, I do and don't forget to have fun.
So what is the parents role and how can they help?
Well . . . they are paying for it. Yep they are providing their child with an amazing opportunity. Is that it? Do they CONTROL everything? No, they SUPPORT everything.
- Mom pays for a school or teacher to train their child the best way they can.
- Mom's prepare their child for the performance by helping ensure they eat appropriately, have water continually, and practice diligently.
- They make sure they get to the theatre in the appropriate time and empower their child to take care of their essentials like shoes, tights, etc.
- Mom's welcome their kids back off the stage and smile or support whichever is required.
- They listen to their child as they explain how amazing it was or that was the worst performance ever. And then they respond, I think you did the best you could today. I think that if you had fun, then you are a winner. I think that if you made mistakes, you can just focus on correcting those mistakes.
- And . . . as they drive away from the theatre, Mom's encourage their children to keep enjoying dance, keep working hard, talk to you teacher to correct those things you need to, and remind them that they get to do this again, how cool is that?
- Why not buy your child a special key chain that they can put on their dance bag? When they are quietly and mentally preparing, they can find grounding by touching your special keychain and they will know you are there.
What should you not do?
- Do not tell your kids they did awesome when they clearly didn't. They know what mistakes they made and by you telling them they were perfect, does not help them.
- Do not become teacher, choreographer, and judge. As a Mom you teach your child many things, however, you are not their dance teacher and may not know exactly what is required to develop a dancer.
- Do not put your child down or pick out everything they did wrong. They do not need you to do that. The teacher will work with your child and knows how to deliver constructive feedback.
- Do not threaten your child as a means of motivation. Listen, the reality is that if they are not meant to be in the competitive world, they won't be. There are consequences to not woking our best, they don't need their parents to scare them into a better performance.
Your role as Mom is the HARDEST role.
- It is important to know that there is a process and that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
- Kids experience stress too. They have to remember their choreography and be able to perform it in a way that makes everyone happy. Look this way, look that way, when you do this jump remember to do this that and the other thing.
- Support your child. Keep them calm by being calm. Are they going to make mistakes? Sure, but encourage them to keep working and they will have the performance they are dreaming of. One day, all of the elements will come together and they will walk out of that competition so proud of themselves.
- Kids need their Mom. No question. It is a team of dancer, teacher, team, and parents to help the success of these high performance athletes.
- If you know your role and trust everyone else's role, you will enjoy the journey alongside your child.
We love our MOMS!